My Husband...The Lord is His name

This last week I have been doing some real soul searching. This came about in response to a situation in which it involved one of my friends and a member of the opposite sex. Due to his ungodly behavior it has caused me to reevaluate all my relationships especially those with the opposite sex and ask lots of questions. I do believe that I have been guarded in the past about who I spend time with and why but now more than others I see that my heart must be guarded and I must learn to have healthy relationships…something that does not come natural for me…. even with my girl friends that I have known for a long time...I love people don’t get me wrong. I love being with them. I love finding out what makes them tick and understand the world from their perspective…but usually it is something I have to consciously think about. I have to say in my head “Raquel…You haven’t spent time with so-n-so lately…why?” And after a two day period of—“OH my God I must make a phone call!!!”…I get enough nerve to call that person to hang out.. Okay, I’m getting a little better on calling…maybe???

So what have I learned through all these questionings?

1. I live in a fallen world. My relationships are broken….I am broken…and I’ve got to fight with everything inside of my to have healthy intimate relationships….sometimes How I wish I was Eve…she was placed in a garden with everything she ever wanted right?? Food to no end…a guy…one she didn’t have to wait for!! One that was there before she was even created…one with whom she had no SHAME…wow how I envy not knowing or judging things in life…to be in a place where she just had to live, love, work, and spend sweet communion with God and her husband.

2. I live in a bigger story—what is going on is not about me…I see only my hurt, my shortcomings, and what I don’t have. But God can see and is involved in the whole’s worlds hurts, shortcomings, longs, ect. His plans for the world and me are bigger than what I can see imagine or even begin to apply in my life.

3. Yet, regardless of all this God loves me…I mean HE LOVES ME…he is patient with me…he nurtures me…he spends time with me…he gives of himself to me…wow!!! I don’t know if I would do that if I was him. These verse rang loud in my head this week (from the Message Bible)…Eph.5: 25-28—“Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church-a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.” This is so deep for me….just as I long for a man…not just any man but a man who would be my husband to speak words of love, kindness, and holiness over my life. And if I were to find such a man his words would make me beautiful…they would heal my hurts and cause me to be connected with him…Christ does that for me. As he speaks to me and his words makes me whole!!! WOW I still don’t think we understand the power of words…I am so tired of easy words…easy things spoken over me…and ugly things spoken over me....But Christ as he speaks he brings the best out of me…he takes the ugly part and makes it whole…Wow..What a good husband I have (IS. 54)!!! HE gives and as he gives I am made whole and this wholeness will reflect in my other relationships…how cool is that… PS. 33:18-22 continues this same theme working with Husband and Wife relationships-- “Watch this: God’s eye is on those who respect him, the ones who are looking for his love. (GOD is playing the part of the husband.. a husband wants respect…a wife is commanded to give it). He’s ready to come to their rescue in bad times; in lean times he keeps body and soul together. (God is treating us like a wife…he is laying down his life for us…he is loving us with everything he’s got...he is providing for our needs...) We’re depending on GOD (a wife looks to a husband to provide for her needs we are looking to God and he is everything we need!!!) ; he’s everything we need. What’s more, our hearts brim with joy since we’ve taken for our own his holy name (a wife takes the name of her husband... I bet you will see no frowns on that wedding day...happiness and joy on the weeding parties faces…we have taken God’s name!! WOW!! I truly belong to Jesus!!. LOVE US, GOD, with all you’ve got—that’s what we’re depending on.” (Its my prayer that I would truly come and know and rely on this love so that I can love those around me more…not in ways that I only can tell but in ways that others can tell and know see GOD in…