April 10th, 2006

This spring break our church sent a team of 14 people to Marcebic, Kenya to serve with Food for the Hungry. Tonight, I had the great privilege of previewing the African team’s video. One of the things that was quite inspiring to see Daniel (a friend of mine and someone who serves with me on the leadership team for my home group) be able to use his talents for God by video taping this mission trip. It remember of the first time Daniel came over to my house for dinner. We (Rebecca, Daniel, David, Yuri, Lindsey, and I) were all sitting around my dinning room table that I had pulled into the living room. David asked us to share our visions for the future. I remember that Daniel was undecided and torn between should he spend time doing missions or film. I am so glad that through God he can do both!!!
The video brought up a lot of emotions inside of me. My heart for the unreached. They joy I can feel from seeing the smiling faces of both the Kenyans and the team from Denton as they shared 5 days in Marcebic. The way I can see a dream of Rebecca and Danielle’s come into reality after such a short. I remember praying with them last summer and seeing God work in amazing ways…more than we can ask or think.
The video also makes me wish I could have gone. And makes me desire even more to make my life count for the sake of the gospel. It made me think of Japan. What can we take to a nation that has everything? To a people who seems reluctant even to have us come? What is it that I have to offer that they will not find with out me? What can I say or do to a people who’s culture demands me not to ask them, “Can I help you?” Outwardly, I have nothing. Not one word that I could say can change their lives. Outwardly, they may be more privileged than I. I can bring no gift that will bring a smile to their faces or food for their bodies. Outwardly, I may not be able to give the girls I meet a hug or dry their tears as they share their stories. Inwardly, I cry out to God, why me? Why did you choose me to go to a place that is so beyond what I have grown up in? Why are you allowing me to go so far away to place that I will be so uncomfortable in to a place that I might not be able to talk to anyone? Inwardly, I search my heart to see if my desires are His? Inwardly, I see that my eyes are focused on me. That the questions that I ask are about me. That the feelings that I feel are about me. Inwardly, I am reminded that it is not about me. It is not about if I like my team mates or not. It is not about me meeting people. IT is not about me feeling at home far away from home. It is not about me wanting to know my future. Inwardly, I see that the King will be exalted in Japan. The king will be known. Even if I go or not. Inwardly, I see that these people will some how know the word. The word will be exalted in Japan. This trip is going to take every ounce of my pride away. This trip is going to allow me to focus on the one that will truly last forever, JESUS CHRIST.